What Do You Want to Be?

     Remember when you were a little kid and the world was just waiting to see what you would become? My son, Silas, at age 4, is definitely at that stage right now. He goes back and forth between wanting to be a Train Engineer, a Fireman, a Farmer, owning an Excavation business, and his most recent desire is to be someone who polishes trophies for a living. Strange, but true. Anyway, when I was in school, my Mom filled out one of those "school days" kind of books-you know the one that has a place for your yearly school photo, favorite subjects, school friends, etc. Well, for each year, there was a spot that asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. Every year from Kindergarten through about ninth grade, I put something to the effect of wanting to be a famous singer. Actually, from Kindergarten to about fourth grade, I said that I wanted to BE Amy Grant. Some major dose of reality must have hit me during my tenth year of life, during which I realized I would have to simply aspire to be LIKE someone, not BE them. So from fifth grade on, I just said I wanted to be a famous singer. Amy must have lost some of her sparkle for me at that time or something. I honestly can't recall.
     
     Recently I read a post by Stuff Christians Like author Jon Acuff and he stated the following:

"we are becoming the 'I’m, but generation.'

Whenever I travel and meet people or connect online with folks, our conversation inevitably drifts toward a simple question, “What do you do?” The most common answer I hear, from people of all ages, is simple:

“I’m a __________, but I want to be a ___________.”

In some form or another, I have heard this thought expressed a thousand times:

I’m an accountant, but I want to be an artist.

I’m a teacher, but I want to work on a water project.

I’m a project manager, but I want to start my own business.

I’m a stay at home mom, but I have a craft I really want to share with the world.

 We are an ageless generation stuck between the things we feel called to do and the things we have to do. If you’ve ever felt a little sick to your stomach on Sunday afternoon because Monday was coming, you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever sat in a cubicle and thought, “This can’t be what I do for the rest of my life,” you know what I am talking about. If you’ve ever had an amazing experience and said, “Why can’t this be my job? I wish I could do what makes me feel alive for 40 hours every week,” you know what I’m talking about."

     This is a really fascinating thought. I definitely fell into this category sometime around my Junior year of high school where I downshifted by dream from singer to teacher. Now, don't get me wrong, I know from personal experience that educating future generations in any subject as a teacher is very meaningful, very important, even crucial. I am so grateful for the time I spent teaching Middle School students prior to having my own kids and staying home. But we have to recognize that God gives us desires, talents, giftings, leanings, and yearnings. To deny those in our lives is unfair to ourselves and does not allow for the fullness of God to be present in our lives. He plants within each heart a drive-something that makes you want to wake up in the morning, something that makes your heart swell. For me, that something has always been music. Whether it was singing, or playing my beloved trumpet in High School, I never felt more comfortable or at home than when I was on stage performing and sharing my music with others. 

     But reality always sets in. What are the odds that I could have made a living as a professional musician? Probably very slim. I understand that. There is the reality of bills and the responsibility of caring for a family. Sometimes, those responsibilities and requirements overshadow our dreams. But life doesn't have to be all work and no enjoyment, does it? Even though you may not be able to do that thing that you dearly love for a living, it doesn't mean that you can't dabble in your dream. Over the years, I've adapted to reality. I've re-discovered my desire to share my music with others. But this time, it goes so far beyond wanting to be a famous singer, or be THE Amy Grant. I've discovered so much joy in using music to minister to others through worship music. I may not make any money doing it, my name isn't up on billboards, but I've decided that I don't want it to be. I have found true happiness within my creative side by placing my gifts, dreams, and desires at the feet of Jesus and saying, "Here it is, humble and simple and inadequate as it may be. But it's all for You and I want you to have it." I think something happens when we do that- when we lay our dreams down and ask God to make something real out of them. He responds. It may look totally different from what you thought, it might be exactly the place you wanted to be back in fourth grade, but if you ask God to use you and have a genuine, humble heart about it, He will respond. 

     So, what do you want to do? Are there some very simple areas where you could start pursuing your dream, even in the tiniest of increments? I encourage anyone reading this to think about that one thing that just makes your heart well up. Begin to pray and ask God, who places desires and dreams inside of us, to give you the courage to take your dreams and run with them. I don't want to live a life where I get to the end and say, "Well, I was a ________ but I had always wanted to be a _______". Instead, I want to be able to say that I had always dreamed big, I placed my desires in the very capable and powerful hands of the Lord, and He guided my path beautifully, using my talents beyond what I could have ever imagined. 

Psalm 37:4,7
"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."