Open The Gift

Parents reading this- this will especially resonate with you. Remember that first time you were in the hospital room with just your baby and your spouse? The nurse smiled as she shut the door and said, "just let us know if you need anything" with a look that said, "all you need is time alone, together." You slowly unwrapped the layers of swaddling blanket and saw the tiny feet. You marveled at the skinny little legs and wanted to memorize every dimple and curve. You looked at your spouse and you smiled. Maybe you cried. In that moment, you were filled with gratitude. You had just unwrapped a beautiful gift.

I loved meeting all 3 of my sons, but one huge regret I have with my last birth, was that I was loopy. I was exhausted. 12 hours of hard labor followed by an emergency c-section was not how it had all gone in my head in the months leading up the the big day.  After a slow day of a stubborn baby with his head turned the wrong way, everything was suddenly fast. Everyone was moving quickly to get Sawyer out into the world. I saw him for a moment, but as they began stitching me up, I became sick to my stomach and then blacked out. When I woke up, there he was. The stress of the labor, combined with a fresh wound and the disappointment that came with it was hard to handle. I was on all sorts of pain medications and honestly- I know I held Sawyer. I know I looked at him and was filled with joy. I know the nurses left us alone to unwrap him. But I don't really remember it at all. It is heartbreaking. It makes me cry even now as I write this. It doesn't make me any less grateful, but the memory is so foggy that it crushes my heart that I wasn't in the moment. I was not present as I normally am.

I think a lot of times, our lives are like that. There are moments we savor and times that we remember to be thankful. But the majority of our time is spent in a fog. Going from point A to point B. Going as fast as we can. Not remembering. And most detrimentally, not being thankful.

I listened to an interview with author Ann Voscamp in which she discussed this topic and she listed Romans 1:21 as a call to thankfulness and absorbing the moments God gives us:

"For although they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks to Him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened." 

The truth of this verse and the truth in our own lives is that evidence of God is everywhere we look. Even in our most dark times. We can clearly see Him at work in every circumstance, and yet, we do not acknowledge Him as He deserves.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live this way. Too busy, too stressed, too unaware, too distracted. I want to be a more thankful person. I want to live each moment in wonder and awe of what God is doing- to have an undercurrent of gratitude running at all times during my stay on this earth.

This week is a perfect week to reflect and give thanks as we remember the gift that Jesus gave to the world as He offered Himself as a sacrifice. But the thing is- you have to be aware. You have to open the gift and pause and think about it, not only with your head, but with your heart too. Don't let these moments pass you by. They are precious and overflowing with opportunity to worship the God who has given them to us. Open the gift, slowly, and appreciate it in all it's glory and beauty.