Letting Go of Ungratefulness

God has been working on a sin in my heart lately. And when that happens, I start noticing that same sin in others. And let me tell you, MANY people struggle with this. It's not in a self-righteous way, but more in a "let's talk about this and figure this out together" sort of way that I write this post. So let's dig in. I will warn you, this is not a post of soft, fuzzy puppies and fragrant spring flowers, people. This is ugly. This is serious.

And here's what it is about: Being ungrateful.

I've got admit right off the bat that I don't have any extreme trials in my life right now. I'm relatively healthy, I'm married to a wonderful, Godly man who knows how to love me well (don't hate, but in the 12 years we have been married, we have never, ever had an argument. Discussions, yes. Arguments, no.) I have 3 handsome, healthy, fun-loving sons. I have a lovely house that we are building ourselves, surrounded by the forest and nature on 12 acres. I have no debt other than our mortgage. I do not have to work outside of the home. I have a completely stocked pantry and refrigerator (for the moment...), I am part of a growing, vibrant church where my family and I experience the power and presence of God in our lives, and where we are vitally involved in the worship ministry.

Sounds pretty good, right?

Sounds like I have a pretty blessed life, right?

Sounds like God has provided for me in some pretty incredible ways, right?

Well why, then, do I find myself, more often than not, in a state of frustration over something? Why do I look at all the blessings above, not for what they are (which is blessings), but instead, look at them as a source of curse? The answer is simple. I am ungrateful. I need more thankfulness in my life. If you were to take a look at your life, I bet you could come to the same conclusion.

How do we get ourselves into such a miserable "woe is me" type of mindset in the first place? Well, it turns out that we're in pretty good company. One might even go so far as to label it a generational curse on humanity- one that has been in place since the bite of the forbidden fruit in the garden. Nothing is ever enough. Nothing is ever satisfying. And the reason is, that we don't seek our satisfaction solely from God and we don't thank Him for the many blessings He has given.

If you know the story of the Israelites from the Old Testament, then you can see we, as the descendent apples haven't fallen far from the tree. We read their story. We celebrate their release from freedom and then shake our head at their stupidity as they time and time again relapse into bad habits of being greedy, wanting more, not being satisfied with what they have, not being thankful. Here is an example:

And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled, and the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some outlying parts of the camp. Then the people cried out to Moses, and Moses prayed to the Lord, and the fire died down. So the name of that place was called Taberah, because the fire of the Lord burned among them. Now the rabble that was among them had a strong craving. And the people of Israel also wept again and said, “Oh that we had meat to eat!" Numbers 11:1-4

Good grief, Israelite people! SHUT UP already! You just about got burnt to a crisp for whining, God saved you, and you are right back at whining AGAIN!?! It's frustratingly painful to read. And do you know why? Because we are just as guilty. We see our own reflection in the face of the whining Israelites. We are mired in the same cycle of stupidity.

I need more.

I need it now.

I need to get my way.

If I just had________, then I'd be happy.

We are so wrapped up in our petty, nonsensical "issues" that we miss the bigger picture. We are so miserable and so overcome by our First World Problems, that we forget that there are people living a world away who would love to be in our shoes. We struggle and strain and complain and get moody over NOTHING!!!! (I am speaking to myself just as much as I am speaking to you, so don't get defensive.)

Friends. We have it better than we deserve. If your life is not in imminent danger right now while you are reading this, you're doing pretty well. In fact, you're doing better than most of the people living on this earth at the moment.

Did you drive somewhere in a vehicle today? 
Did you eat anything at all today? 
Did you turn on a faucet and clean water came out of it? 
Did you put on some clothes? 
Did anyone acknowledge your existence today?


If your answer is yes to even ONE of these, then you have a reason to give thanks. But even if you couldn't say "yes" to ANY of those questions, you still have a reason to give thanks. And here is why- the God of the Universe is a prayer away. He wants to be Your comfort today. He wants to heal. He wants to love you. But you know why you won't reach out to Him? Because you're so concerned about all your little problems. 

Do you understand that in this world, we are up against a very strong, very evil enemy? Do you further understand that one of his best weapons is when he MAKES us a weapon against ourselves? satan gets us tangled up in our little webs of trouble and then all he has to do is sit back and watch the self-destruction begin. It is cunning and it is cruel. But it's easy to recognize. God has mercifully been waking me up to this truth and I feel like I'd be a real jerk if I didn't try to reach through this screen and grab you by the shoulders and shake you a bit. When we let our light and momentary troubles consume us, then we're fairly useless for the Kingdom. That is right where our enemy wants us. And most of us are there.

Are you thankful? Do you believe deep within your heart, soul, and mind that God has everything under control?

Then stop bemoaning whatever it is that you're dealing with right now. And trust me, I understand that there are seasons of life that are hard. I have been through them. God doesn't expect us to paste a smile on and pretend life is grand all the time. Because He knows better than anyone, that this is a broken world. He so longed to make it better that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to win us back. And He is making a home in Heaven for us where these troubles we face today won't hurt us ever again! 

That good day you had where you lifted your eyes heavenward and gave God a prayer of thanks? That's great that you did that. But today when the stuff is hitting the fan and you're feeling aggravated? Just take a moment to find something to be thankful for- in fact, make a list. And I bet you'll start to feel some chains falling off and hear them clattering to the floor. 

That "one thing" that's making you nuts? Let. It. Go. 

The list of grievances you have about your spouse or kids or house or body or job or friend or enemy? Burn it.

The way you rush around to try to get more done and more out of your day? That's actually causing you to MISS OUT on your day. Stop.

I have been doing 3 things on top of seeking God in prayer, the Word, and worship,  that are helping me overcome my ungrateful heart and they are as follows:

1. Read Ann Voscamp's book "1000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are"

2. Anytime you start to feel a sense of entitlement, dread, or frustration, just stop and find a way to find a reason to thank God in that moment. A silly example- I was looking at a huge pile of pots and pans to clean on my counter today and I was frustrated about the time it would take. As I started to wash, rather than get ticked off, I thanked God for each pan and thought about how my parents gave them to me as a wedding gift- and I gave thanks. I thought about my clean water that I didn't have to walk miles to get. I thought about the lovely view out of the window. I thanked God for all of it. Then at the end of that time, I thanked God for the time I had to just talk to Him and thank Him! And voila! The work was done! It seems silly. But it worked. The process of being thankful almost has a viral quality to it. We need to be infected with thankfulness!

3. In Voscamp's book, she has a journal where she lists her blessings daily. I have a chalkboard by the door where we are writing what we are thankful for. I try to do one every day. Being thankful begins with paying attention and not taking things for granted. So take some time to really consider the gifts that you have in your life. They are countless and far outweigh the difficulties you face.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. 2 Corinthians 4:7-12

You don't have to make yourself miserable and frustrated. Life is in you. You get that one life to live in this world. One chance to make a difference. Look beyond yourself. Look at all that God has done and all that He gives. He is all we need. When we do that, our worship will become life-changing, our relationships will be stronger, our satisfaction will be fuller, because it's all based on Him. Give thanks to the Giver and you will not find yourself wanting.

This Was NOT a Pinterest Morning

Good Morning all you frazzled parents out there. I've got a little secret to share with you all--- this morning? My house? My kids? Total chaos. There was weeping and gnashing of teeth. There was a giant sized fit over the grey shirt that didn't match the camo pants. There was an uproar over breakfast. My little normally sweet 6 year old was so angry, that on the way home from dropping him off at school, my 4 year old, Cohen, quite seriously asked, "do you think Silas is going to the dark side, Mom?" Which caused me to have my own fit- of laughter!

Isn't it just annoying to have a morning like this? No one is feeling good about things. Everyone is insecure in their role as parent/child. All those "what have I done wrong?" kinds of questions linger. Your mind drifts to all those other "perfect" parents you know sending their smiling kids out the door with a beautifully packed lunch of epic homemade proportions, wearing clothes they made themselves, carrying a hand-folded cardboard box with hand-painted spring flowers on the side, with beautiful, perfect treats for their (also perfect) classmates inside? I'm not buying it. I have a day once in a while where I can achieve those things, but more often than not, my morning is like a circus. Or a marathon. Or a wrestling match. There is nothing I could take a photo of from this morning and pin on Pinterest boards today at all. My kid had a piece of bacon coming out of his mouth, tears dropping out of his eyes, and that wild brown hair shooting up in every direction. We ran from the house in a late frenzy to the van and scrambled in as fast as we could. Not exactly a peaceful experience.

In the end, after a long talk on the way to school, as he was exiting the mini-van, we both had smiles on our faces and he gave me two kisses and a big hug and said he was sorry for his anger and disrespectful words- and I forgave him. Lesson learned. Disaster morning over. And so we all move on. It was not the morning I would have wished upon us, but it was the morning that we had. We parents pressure ourselves so much to have every moment be sparkling and delightful, straight from the pages of a parenting magazine. But it's not reality. Life is not perfect. The sooner our kids (and we, as parents) learn that lesson and get the grace to deal with it, the better. I am the kind of person who has always liked things orderly, tidy, neat and wrapped up in a bow. Guess what? I'm getting over it. Because if you hold ridiculous expectations, you're going to be miserable, and I don't want to live my life that way. I want to let go of this idea that everything has to be perfect, because it can't be. It can be close, but only at the expense of our sanity and family. And those are two trades I am not willing to make. We are fallen, broken people living in an angry, hurting, chaotic world. The only perfection we can know is the perfection that is found in our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is our example, and though we strive for a whole lifetime, we know we will never attain that perfection. But along the way, even in mornings like this, our faith and our relationships are tested, torn, and strengthened once again. And we grow. There was nothing perfect or contained about this morning. But I'm pretty sure not much would have been learned had it been that way.

Just before he opened the door of his school, he turned around with a huge toothy smile and asked, "tomorrow is Saturday, right Mom?" Yes it is, my sweet son. A chance to recharge and regain our composure as we look to the challenges ahead. Because we never know what the next day will hold. But we know WHO holds our next day. Thank You, God. For loving us even in our chaos. For giving us grace that we don't deserve. For showing us perfection, but not expecting it from us. For being good. For giving us rest. For being our source of security. For Your love.

Praying that you all have a blessed, restful weekend. Give your kids an extra hug today. Life is hard for everybody and we all have "one of those days" once in a while.

Open The Gift

Parents reading this- this will especially resonate with you. Remember that first time you were in the hospital room with just your baby and your spouse? The nurse smiled as she shut the door and said, "just let us know if you need anything" with a look that said, "all you need is time alone, together." You slowly unwrapped the layers of swaddling blanket and saw the tiny feet. You marveled at the skinny little legs and wanted to memorize every dimple and curve. You looked at your spouse and you smiled. Maybe you cried. In that moment, you were filled with gratitude. You had just unwrapped a beautiful gift.

I loved meeting all 3 of my sons, but one huge regret I have with my last birth, was that I was loopy. I was exhausted. 12 hours of hard labor followed by an emergency c-section was not how it had all gone in my head in the months leading up the the big day.  After a slow day of a stubborn baby with his head turned the wrong way, everything was suddenly fast. Everyone was moving quickly to get Sawyer out into the world. I saw him for a moment, but as they began stitching me up, I became sick to my stomach and then blacked out. When I woke up, there he was. The stress of the labor, combined with a fresh wound and the disappointment that came with it was hard to handle. I was on all sorts of pain medications and honestly- I know I held Sawyer. I know I looked at him and was filled with joy. I know the nurses left us alone to unwrap him. But I don't really remember it at all. It is heartbreaking. It makes me cry even now as I write this. It doesn't make me any less grateful, but the memory is so foggy that it crushes my heart that I wasn't in the moment. I was not present as I normally am.

I think a lot of times, our lives are like that. There are moments we savor and times that we remember to be thankful. But the majority of our time is spent in a fog. Going from point A to point B. Going as fast as we can. Not remembering. And most detrimentally, not being thankful.

I listened to an interview with author Ann Voscamp in which she discussed this topic and she listed Romans 1:21 as a call to thankfulness and absorbing the moments God gives us:

"For although they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks to Him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened." 

The truth of this verse and the truth in our own lives is that evidence of God is everywhere we look. Even in our most dark times. We can clearly see Him at work in every circumstance, and yet, we do not acknowledge Him as He deserves.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live this way. Too busy, too stressed, too unaware, too distracted. I want to be a more thankful person. I want to live each moment in wonder and awe of what God is doing- to have an undercurrent of gratitude running at all times during my stay on this earth.

This week is a perfect week to reflect and give thanks as we remember the gift that Jesus gave to the world as He offered Himself as a sacrifice. But the thing is- you have to be aware. You have to open the gift and pause and think about it, not only with your head, but with your heart too. Don't let these moments pass you by. They are precious and overflowing with opportunity to worship the God who has given them to us. Open the gift, slowly, and appreciate it in all it's glory and beauty.

Carrie's Worship Playlist

I often have people ask me what worship songs I'm listening to at any given moment. There are so many good albums out here recently, I just thought I'd let you take a tour through my playlist.

First of all- new Passion CD: Let The Future Begin. Oh wow. Every song on this one is fantastic. I don't love the title track "God's Great Dance Floor/Let the Future Begin" as a corporately sung worship song, but it's got a great beat. My kids and I are often found dancing around to this one. Cohen the other night said, "hold on Mom! Pause the dance floor! I will be right back!" My top 3 favorites off of this one are "The Lord Our God" by Kristian Stanfill (the bridge is based on Numbers 9, where the Israelites would only move when the pillar of cloud, or the fire by night would move-cool concept.) " Here's My Heart" by THE David Crowder is a nice song-simple, but says all that we need to say to God. I also really like " In Christ Alone" sung by Kristian Stanfill. This is a great modern hymn (written in 2001 by Stuart Townend and Keith Getty). Buy this whole CD. You will not be disappointed!


Second on my go-to list is "Burning Lights" by Chris Tomlin. I've got to be honest. I generally do not enjoy his studio recordings at all. He's so dynamic and powerful in live settings. I have been spoiled by all those times we saw him lead worship live back in our younger days. But this album is different. There are a lot of good songs on here. You can't really go wrong with any of them. My favorite song is "Crown Him/Majesty" which we have been doing at LCC. I love that bridge, "All hail Redeemer, hail. For He has died for me. His praise and glory shall not fail, throughout eternity."


I'm patiently waiting for David Crowder to put out his first solo album after the break up of David Crowder Band. We saw him in concert a couple weeks ago. If you are afraid of bluegrass, I promise if you'll just give Crowder's new sound a try, he will win you over. He artfully blends bluegrass and folk with modern sounds and songs. It's a toe-tappin', loud-singin', good time of worship. I am assuming he'll be working on an album here directly as he introduced several new songs at the concert.

In the same vein, "Campfire" by Rend Collective Experiment is great. It's folky, it's organic, and for good reason- it's a bunch of people singing together around a fire in Ireland. Seriously good content- I especially like the song "Build Your Kingdom Here". Honestly, I could do without the song Kumbaya. I get it. Believe me, I do- with the campfire theme and all, it's practically a requirement to have it on there. I've hosted many a campfire and that song has been, is, and forever will be, banned. No offense to whoever wrote it whenever, but it's a song I could definitely go without hearing. Ever. Again. But overall, great CD (if you skip track #1.)

"Zion" by Hillsong United has such a great, fresh vibe to it. I can hardly get enough. The songs and lyrics are unique, but the truth within is familiar. Great stuff!


So buy some new music today! I love how God inspires and directs people to write songs that touch people (maybe even Kumbaya hits someone in a special way...now I feel a little bad about how harsh I was...maybe.)

Looking to Him

   "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into same the image  from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 
2 Corinthians 3:18

     I love to watch my kids' faces when I give them a gift, or hand them their favorite toy, or set a plate of their favorite food in front of them. Just this morning, I was holding my youngest son, Sawyer on my lap and he was just sitting there looking around the room. He was content, but just kind of bored. I picked up a colorful book filled with pictures of animals and was able to watch his face as I opened it to his favorite page filled with lions and tigers. His eyes began to take it all in and they changed. I could see the joy, the excitement, and the change in his eyes.

    If you are a Lancaster Community Church person reading this, I can tell you that your eyes have been changing too. I have been leading worship for several years at LCC and here recently have I noticed a significant change. For the most part, we've all been pretty content. There have been spikes on the worship-meter over the past couple years, and we've all grown so much- we have all been learning what worship really is together. But something is happening and I can't quite pinpoint it or trace it back to a particular moment, but just the last few weeks, as I scan the crowd during worship, your eyes are telling me that you're changing. There is a new sense of seeking. There is a new wave of participating in the worship, in moving beyond singing the songs and going through the motions. The Holy Spirit is stirring. And I can see it. Some faces show incredible pain and hurt, but I watch as people push past the tears and raise a shaking hand into the air, determined to put their circumstances aside and enter the throne room of God. Other faces show an indescribable joy and elation as their hearts rush to the Father they love so much. Yes, there are a few people here and there with their hands still in their pockets wondering what all the fuss is about. But for the most part, people are entering into this beautiful time of praise each week wholeheartedly and with eyes that want to see the beauty and the glory of God. As I watched my sons face light up this morning over the book, it made me think of our time together on Sundays in the sanctuary of LCC. We are awakening. 

    What is even more encouraging for me to think about, is that Sunday morning worship is just a product of what has been occurring on a daily basis, Monday- Saturday. It is the overflow of hearts that have been looking toward Him all week long. I'm thrilled by that! I mean it! I love the idea of people throughout the week worshiping on their own, reading the Word, praying, and studying with friends in Connect Groups. I love to think about people heading out to their various daily routines with Jesus as their focus. I think all along this is what we have wanted. This is what we have prayed for. But it just feels like, to me, that it's all coming together. We are living and being the church that God has envisioned. 

    Have we "arrived"? I don't think so. I think this is only the very beginning. And that fills me with wonder and excitement. And it inspires me to keep pushing ahead with our worship teams. As I frequently say, "we can only lead people to where we've been ourselves." So I want you to know, I am fixing my eyes on Jesus. I am looking to Him as we continue to elevate His name that is above every other name. And during these weeks leading up to Easter, I am looking back at His cross. His beautiful sacrifice for us all. I'm awed at the sight of a God who loved us so much that His Son was willing to give His life for our sins. No one can see the cross of Jesus and the love He has for us all and walk away unchanged. It is impossible. 

    So let's continue to fix our gaze on Him. If you haven't been looking, He wants you to seek Him! And if you have been seeking Him, then let's seek Him even more! And let Psalm 27:4 be the cry of our hearts: 

One thing I ask from the Lord,
This only do I seek;
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord,
All the days of my life,
To gaze on the beauty of the Lord
And to seek Him in His temple. 

Finding God in the Mess

Have you ever read those Facebook status updates where a woman goes through every detail of her day- how she washed and dried and put away 36 loads of laundry, and how she has changed 17 poopy diapers so far that morning alone?


Have you ever written one? Be honest.


I will. I have!


I had a friend ask me last week why women do that. I had no intelligible answer to that question. But I've been thinking about it. And I think the situation goes deep. Waaaay deep. So if you'd like to explore this mysterious phenomenon AND learn that Jesus wants something better for us, then keep reading.


It's no joke- running a household is not an easy, neat, or drama-free task. There are some days I feel like I could lose my mind. I think the problem with being a wife/Mom/live-in maid, is that life often feels like a mixture of the movie Groundhog Day and the episode of Saved by the Bell where Jesse Spano has to take caffeine pills in order to get everything done (Here's the link to the classic breakdown...you're welcome-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c) The thing is though, that as with everything in this life, we have a choice of how we respond to the mundane, often ridiculous, never dull, seldom predictable days that we have amongst our children wiping their noses and then turning around only to have to wipe it again- washing all the dishes only to have to wash them again (and again and again), getting those clothes put away only to turn around to see another pile needing washed...you get the idea. It's a never-ending cycle. There may be a feeling of victory and closure at the end of the day when everything is all put away and lovely and sparkling. But that feeling of closure is ripped open the next morning, just like the lid of the toy box in the family room. And the toys come right back out.


Never. Ending. Cycle.


Well the question of why women feel the need to post their grievances for the world to see got me to thinking. And when I get to thinking, it's downright dangerous. I've come to the conclusion that we shouldn't complain about the life God has given us. "But it's soooo haaaard to do this everrrrryyy dayyyy!" I hear you.



If we shouldn't complain and feel downhearted, then what should our attitude be? (And please, if you post something about laundry or poopy diapers on Facebook, don't feel like I am going to judge you. I'll probably slip up and pop one on there myself sooner or later.) If we look at Jesus' life, we know He was and is the ultimate servant. He said specifically that He came to serve (Matthew 20:28- "even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”- Jesus actually died for us...kinda makes our laundry woes inconsequential, eh?) He showed his love through serving others tirelessly. He got down on his knees and washed the filthy feet of His own followers (John 13). He didn't complain. He didn't put His hand to His head in dramatic fashion, hoping for someone to notice His difficulties. He didn't want sympathy or crave a pat on the back. And we can learn from this. All of us.






Jesus' ultimate goal is to get us, His followers, to actually follow Him. And in so doing, to become like Him. Imagine it. It makes the heart soar and the head spin. A word to the ladies reading this, Jesus wants us to be like Him. So in your daily sacrificial duties, and trust me, Mom-of-3 boys that I am, I understand that there are sacrifices- let's look to Him as our example.






Let's be last. With willingness.


Let's bind up those little hearts and wipe away those tears. With compassion.


Let's serve our husbands well and meet their needs. With submission.


Let's complete our tasks throughout the day. With joy.






That's a day well done. That's something to be proud of. That's the kind of day that sheds light into the darkest corners of our hearts and shines right out of our front doors to the rest of the watching world.






Guys. You're not off the hook. If you are a husband, encourage your wife as she grows in this area. Be helpful. Don't fall into the excuse that you're a guy and you just don't know how to clean. Everyone can learn this simple skill :) While I do believe women are better predisposed emotionally and mentally for such tasks as child-rearing and the running of a household, I also believe that marriage and life together is a team effort! So do what you can to lead your family as a team. Recognize your calling to encourage, equip, and love your wife as she learns to serve willingly and well. Roll up your sleeves and wash some dishes. And pick your dirty socks up off of the floor by your side of the bed. Please. Work together! I promise it will be a challenge, but the results will be phenomenal.






I do believe that we learn so much from God in the day-to-day. Those are the real deal, rubber-meets-the-road kind of experiences. He is longing to meet us there. He wants to take us under His wing and show us a better way. He has given us a beautiful example in the life of Jesus to follow.






I'd love to write more, but as you can guess, I have a lot of work to do. Spiritually AND physically. So let's all commit to start looking at our days differently. Whoever you are, whatever you do and wherever you find yourself today- let us serve. Let us give. Let us find Him in the mess!

I Will

    I've been looking at my life a lot lately and wondering how it can possibly get any more crammed full of stuff. I'm sure many of you reading this feel the same way. In the course of my day, there are so many things I wish I could be doing, but I find myself with so many "Have-to's", that I can't get to the "Want to's". This struggle makes a person like me introspective and evaluative. What am I doing? Where am I wasting time? What is important?

    The problem is that I have come to the conclusion that it's all important! I can't delete my Mothering and household responsibilities. Someone has to wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry for 5 (but often, it feels more like 25). Someone has to pay bills, clean toilets, change diapers. It's me. I'd much rather spend my day at the piano working on songs, or soaking up the Word and writing.

    Someone also has to learn to rely more on the power of God to maintain a positive attitude about the "have-to's" and that's also me. It does no good to anyone for me to get that disgruntled, entitled feeling as I'm making round 2 of breakfast for the day for little hungry mouths JUST as I had finally had a chance to sit down with my journal and Bible finally open, pen in hand.

     I'm asking God to remind me daily that this is a season. A season of extreme maintenance and work. Some days, it's hard work. Some days, it's frustrating that I haven't even accomplished the "Have to's", let alone had time to think about the "Want to's." I am learning that there can be peace in the chaos. I have learned that it is necessary to mesh "time spent with God" into both the "Have to" column AND the "Want to" column. I can't get through the day in one piece without Him. It's non-negotiable.

     And today, as I read Psalm 101 with a fussy baby who just had shots yesterday (and today a resulting fever) bouncing on one knee, a 4 year old at my shoulder saying "Mom, why, why, why..." I was able to block it out in the 30 seconds it took for these words to come alive off of the page. It was like God was saying "Here is what is important for you, Carrie Crawford, today, right now." And I think He wants to say these words to all of us. Here are the lines that jumped out from Psalm 101 and here are the things I WILL do with my life and with my time. Instead of getting so worked up about what I need to do, want to do, and the fear of failing to accomplish any of it,

I will sing of steadfast love and justice; to You O Lord, I will make music. 

I will ponder the way that is blameless.

I will walk with integrity of heart within my house.

I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.

The laundry pile may overflow, the piano keys may go untouched for the day, the dinner might not look like a magazine cover. But I am going to make these things of Psalm 101 happen. And I know He will help me.